The Case of the Delay and the Septic Whisperers

I’m going to tell you a little story. A story full of twists and turns. Of stress and tears. Of jubilation for a very strange reason. It’s The Marshes and the Case of the Delay and the Septic Whisperers.

So first up: the delay. As you know from a previous blog post, we were checking things off the list left and right. Closings for both houses set. Rental lease signed. etc etc etc. Well. Should’ve known there’d be a snag. I was pretty sure it was the end of the world (cue the stress and tears), but I *think* it’s all going to be okay. I may have overreacted. Shocking.

Anyway. Basically it boils down to this: we got an email from the bank 1.5 days before everyone was closing up shop for the long Labor Day weekend that we needed to have a septic inspection and water test done on the property. The catch? We were pretty sure one or both of these would fail. Even worse, we were afraid there might not even BE a septic system on this 100 year old property. Both were things we were prepared to deal with in the renovation process. But. It was a condition of getting the loan underwritten. And without having clean inspections on both counts, we would have to jump through 100 more hoops to see if an exception could be made. And oh by the way? It all had to be done before September 14 closing, a mere 10 days away (5 of which were weekends/holiday).

So after some frantic time on the phone, we did get the septic inspection and water test scheduled, but the earliest they could do was today, 5 days before closing. And the water test takes 4 business days to come back. Which means we have to move closing. *sigh* So the new tentative closing date is September 23, which gives us a little breathing room to hopefully get all our ducks in a row as far as these inspections are concerned. Geesh.

So are you wondering if there was a septic system on the property? Or if we passed inspection? You’ll have to read on to find out! Muahahaha

So after spending the holiday weekend moving a bunch of our stuff into our rental (with no a/c and massively hugely terrifying spiders hanging all over the exterior of the house…that’s another horror story), on Monday, we headed out to see if we couldn’t find us a septic system. Yee haw!! We aren’t trashy at all!!

The Septic Whisperers in all their glory.
The Septic Whisperers, at your service.

Since this blog post is already one million words, I will try to shorten up this next part of the story. Basically, the current owner had given us a general vicinity on the 4.38 acres in which she thought the septic maybe was, so that’s where we started. Aaron got to work with a weed eater, cleaning up the brush so we could get to the ground. In the meantime, I had a soil probe and BOOM! Hit something instantly. Could I be a septic whisperer??? I think so. Because that’s what that thing was — Aaron got to work digging, and soon was joined by Dad, and they uncovered what had to be a septic tank. Discovered by yours truly, I’m just saying. And then I proceeded to discover the tile that runs from the house to the tank. Because again, septic whisperer. Call me for all your septic needs (please please don’t actually do that). So they get enough of the tank uncovered, and dig around to find 3 of the 4 corners of the tank, and we’re about to call that good, when Aaron says “I’m going to dig right here. I have a feeling this is where the cap is.” (In order for the professionals to do a septic inspection, they have to be able to access the tank via a cap. So if we didn’t find the cap, they were going to have to try to find it, which could involve a lot of time and digging, and therefore, lots of money.) So anyway, Aaron starts digging. And Dad looks at him, and decides Aaron is probably right, and starts digging too. And what do you know –they uncover the cap. What. Is. Happening. Who would’ve thought 4 people (Mom was with us) would’ve got so excited about…. poop?! I mean, really.

So the septic passed inspection today (HUZZAH!) and we’ll know about the water test in a few days, but it’s looking pretty good! Case closed. Hopefully.

Betcha didn’t think you were going to get this close of a glimpse into the glamour we are undertaking. Betcha thought you were going to look at pictures of cabinets and pretty floors and stuff. PSYCH!


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